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friends, have i failed you?
it seems as if my questions have gone unanswered
as if everyone has built up a wall
a wall that i really want to punch through
whether my hands bleed or break,
i’m just trying to find a way to get to you
friends, where have i failed you?
did distance create this space
or did we let space create distance,
between us
i have often heard that time do things like this
but is it really time, or is it us?
friends, how have i failed you?
am i too pushy
have i asked too much
did i not do my part
am i invading your space
did we run out of things to say
are we strangers again
friends, do you miss me?

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sometimes while driving, i often get so lost in myself that when i wake up from that intense moment of thinking, i find myself lost in reality. my sense of direction becomes cluttered and i keep wondering to myself, where am i going? did i miss a turn? i keep searching around me for any signs of familiarity. i keep driving, and then it all comes back to me. the empty 7/11. country club. a lonely parking lot. everything is the same, i’m going the right way. and the thoughts running through mind so intensely disappears. as if, they were never there and i was in a dream. which is now only but a blank white noise in my head.

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"Everyone knows what it’s like to lose someone that you love in some shape of form, whether it be a choice or not by choice."

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stuffaboutminneapolis:

Lydia’s Minneapolis Cityscape by James O’Connell via mnartists.org

stuffaboutminneapolis:

Lydia’s Minneapolis Cityscape by James O’Connell via mnartists.org

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happyness 11

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  1. my new running shoes! I bought a pair of Nike free run+3. i am really excited to try these out. which leads us to
  2. getting back into running. i kind of slacked off for about a month now. i know it’s really bad. last saturday, i went for a jog, thinking i could pick it up quickly. boy, how wrong i was. so here we are again! i am using the 5K app on my iPhone. i like it A LOT! and thank you to my friend Crystal Lee for reblogging all those inspirational quotes! i’m all pumped up and can’t wait!
  3. the new kids in town (i know, i said it already in my last one…). it’s been great having from zero people to +8!!! i didn’t realize how lonely i was… wow!
  4. new bedsheets! color? PINK! although it was difficult falling asleep last night, being between new bed sheets felt awesome. i want to go home and roll around… haha!
  5. a clean apartment! i spent all day yesterday shopping for and cleaning my apartment. nothing feels better than a clean house! oh the accomplishment! :)
  6. i forgot what it was like to cook for a lot of people. of all people, i should have known that 3 cups of rice would not feed 8 people who are hungry! so i’m quite excited to host another little dinner party and make sure to cook enough for everyone.
  7. first crushes: they are the cutest things. my girl student, after class today, as my JTE was distracted, threw a rolled up “love note” into his basket. her friends and her noticed that i had seen what they did and started giggling and telling me to shhh! lol. aww, so freaking adorable. i forgot what it felt like to have crushes like that. too cute!
  8. eating delicious, delicious deep dish pizza in tokyo. it might have been better than any other deep dish pizza i have ever had. chicago’s deep dish is yum, but the crust always ends up being too soggy. devil craft, was just perfect. their artichoke cheese dip was also beyond amazing. i have missed that taste so badly!
  9. hung out by tama river and relaxed all day! also held a baby in my arms - the most adorable baby ever! i haven’t held a baby in my arms for so long, i had forgotten how it felt like to hold one.
  10. being distracted by the awesome things in my life right now. my heart is jumping full of happiness today, even though it’s raining. :)

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“The best things in life are unseen. That’s why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, and dream.”

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Can’t remember what this was called, but it was quite quite delicious!!! 

Devil Craft, Tokyo. Greatttt deep dish pizza too :)

Can’t remember what this was called, but it was quite quite delicious!!!

Devil Craft, Tokyo. Greatttt deep dish pizza too :)

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Drawing Strength from Weakness

i’m enjoying myself here in japan, but my heart is really missing home at the moment. hearing hmong spoken or sung brings a bit of sadness and emptiness. it makes me miss my family… my friends… my life back there… TT_TT

but i have to stay strong. it won’t be long till i see them all again. all that matters is that everyone is healthy and strong. i hope they stay that way because i am and i’m trying hard to be.  

i’m drawing strength from my weakness. like how i managed to be able to run a 5K! i hated running, but i did it. i was able to push through and got it down. the accomplishment felt amazing.

if i wasn’t at this point in my life right now, i would’ve never knew this kind of power.

i have to.

i’ve been a long time glee lover and the last two episodes seeing all my favorite people together just almost ended. come next season are new actors and new ‘ships and what nots. i almost cried one too many times on these last two episodes. season finale is next week. sigh… i <3 Glee.